Britney Spears said she was used. Kevin Federline says she needs help

Britney Spears looked at herself in the mirror, smiling as she grabbed an electric clipper.

Pieces of her long, luscious locks fell on the floor of a Southern California salon. Paparazzi cameras documented every second of the now infamous night out in 2007, then followed her with her new buzzcut to get the tattoo.

The star said she did it because she felt cornered and humiliated by the paparazzi, who followed her from her estranged husband Kevin Federline’s home.

In the midst of an intense and widely publicized custody battle over their two young children, the pop princess said she resisted and wanted to give “some stuff” to the press. She called it an impulsive decision — one that, for her, served as a public rebuke to a world that held her to unreasonable standards.

For her, it was a “desperate move”.

But for her estranged husband, it was a wake-up call to “how far out of control things have gotten.”

Decades later, those moments and others that went on to define the pop star and her very public unraveling are back in the spotlight — but exactly what happened and why depends on the retelling.

After Spears shared her perspective in her 2023 memoir, The Woman In Me, Federline is now speaking out and sharing their year together in a book, You Thought You Knew, published this week.

Like Spears, Federline’s book details their intimate and tumultuous relationship, providing an inside look at the psychological turmoil they both endured and the protective battles that defined much of Spears’ life and career. It provides a side-by-side look, a he-said, she-said dissection of their lives.

The Grammy Award winner, 43, has already condemned her ex’s memoir, writing on social media that Federline’s revelations were “extremely painful and exhausting”.

But the dancer-turned-reality TV star says he’s releasing You Thought You Know after years of hesitation because he doesn’t want his children to grow up “having to explain to them who their father is”.

Federline responds to the stories and accusations Spears told in her 2023 tome, in which she describes being financially and emotionally controlled by those close to her. He sometimes contradicts her account, making new accusations.

Although the two memoirs present sometimes vastly different accounts, both have the same goal of reconstructing the public narrative on Spears by highlighting the episodes that led to her custody battle as well as the nationwide movements that freed the pop star in 2021.

In her book, Spears denounced the court-ordered conservatorship, also known as guardianship, that she had from 2008-2021. During that time, her father, Jamie Spears, controlled many aspects of her finances, career, and personal life.

She says that if she had only had to live her life, she would have done it.

“Thirteen years passed with me like my shadow. I think back now that my father and his associates controlled my body and my money for so long and it makes me sick,” she wrote.

But, she added, she was determined to go with the long-term arrangement “for my kids”, even though it was “really hard to be in”.

After the conservatorship ended, her father Jamie Spears said it was “necessary” to protect her, but it was time to take control of her.

Federline has a different role in his calculations. Even when the marriage ended, he writes, it wasn’t easy for him to “watch her spiral.”

Federline supported the arrangement, arguing that it provided “some semblance of normalcy” for their two children. After her psychiatric hold, Federline says he immediately filed for sole custody, but that led to issues that further strained Spears’ relationship with their children.

His ex, he writes, “viewed the events of her life through a prism that painted her as a victim, misunderstood, wronged by everyone around her.

“But from where I was standing she needed help. Whether it was rehab or therapy, I can’t say for sure,” he writes, adding that she was in no position to manage her own affairs and needed some form of supervision or “protective layer.”

He goes on to say that he discovered that he didn’t know much about guardianship and didn’t ask for answers because part of him “didn’t want to know”.

Spears credits the viral Free Britney movement with helping her find the courage to challenge and eventually break out of her patronage.

“My friends and my fans realized what was happening and did everything for me, it’s a debt I can never repay,” she wrote, thanking them for standing up for her when she couldn’t stand up for herself.

But Federline says the movement “misfired” and those who are part of it now need to put the same effort into the “Save Brittany Movement”. He shares ominous concerns that the pop star is currently “running towards something irreversible” and is “approaching the 11th hour”.

Pressure from the Free Brittany movement, he alleged, had caused the judge in her guardianship case to “ignore professional reports and disregard public opinion”.

“But in the end none of that mattered. If Britney believes she’s being held against her will and all the other things she’s shared, that trauma is real for her. And you can’t ignore that,” he says.

Spears has made headlines on Instagram with quirky and sometimes relatable posts. Their children have grown up but, according to Federline, they haven’t seen their mother much, and they really don’t want to. Federline has two additional children with Spears.

Federline says he has lost faith that things will ever change completely for his ex-wife.

“I still hope Britney can find peace. Whatever her future holds, I hope she can finally take control of her own life on her own terms. This whole saga, twenty years in, was built on denial. Britney never got to the first step of recovery: admitting there was a problem.”

Spears has blamed several people close to her, including two of her former executives, Federline and former NSYNC frontman Justin Timberlake.

She accused the two of destroying her ability to “trust people again”.

In his own memoir, Federline says he was carving out a career for himself as a professional dancer who worked with Michael Jackson and NSYNC when he crossed paths with Spears.

The couple met while dancing to Federline Spears’ opening act on tour.

Federline, for his part, is self-aware, writing that he knows people saw the Fresno, Calif., native as “this guy walked out of his trailer and into Britney’s mansion.”

But even on the day before the wedding, there was a shadow on their relationship, he says.

Federline says in his book that when he and Spears got together in their early 20s, she had never moved on from her ex-boyfriend Timberlake, detailing that they had a lot of “unfinished business” and that “he lingered like a ghost in the background of our relationship.”

In her memoir, Spears recounts the difficulties of her relationship with Timberlake, including the fact that he asked her to have an abortion, and the public embarrassment she suffered after he accused her of cheating on him – exacerbated when he cast a Spears lookalike in his music video for Cry Me a River.

Their relationship, which lasted from 1999 to 2002, has also been dissected over the years, and several documentaries about Spears have led to a public apology from Timberlake after recasting her as a victim in her defense.

Federline says that “there was always something with Justin that she just couldn’t let go of”. He says Spears called Timberlake the night before their wedding.

“Now, looking back… I realize it was deeper than that. She never really got off on him,” he writes.

Federline’s memoir has sparked outrage from Spears and her vocal army of supporters online.

James Miller, an activist and supporter of Free Britain, says the book will not help the singer.

“Britney struggles with mental health issues, it’s very clear,” he told the BBC. “Right now really isn’t the best time to exploit her. I don’t think there’s any alarm to sound.”

From appearing in The Mickey Mouse Club as a child to dancing with a snake on her shoulder at the MTV Music Video Awards, Spears has been in the spotlight throughout her adult life.

S. Mark Young, a professor at the University of Southern California and author of The Mirror Effect: How Celebrity Narcissism Is Sidding America, said Federline’s book is unlikely to change public opinion about her.

“I think after this coming week, the book will die. Most people who follow Britney won’t be moved,” he says.

Some have wondered why Federline, 47, has chosen to speak out now.

“Nobody gets better after writing a book like this,” says Mr. Young.

Mr. Miller and several people online noted that now that both of his sons are over 18, Federline will not receive the $40,000-a-month support payments from the singers.

Federline denied having an ulterior motive beyond wanting to finally share his side of the infamous saga.

In the memoir, Federline says the book was his best chance to share his side of the story.

For decades, the media, Spears, and her family have mostly told Federline’s story, largely leaning on his “bad boy” persona and making him the butt of many late-night jokes.

“It’s ultimately about telling my story,” he writes in his book. “My version. In my words. Because everyone else has done it for me. Media. Blogs. X. Strangers. Jokes, headlines. They all had something to say about me. And I kept quiet.”

He denies that he was ever “spending her money” and insists that he is always “working, grinding, investing to build a solid foundation for me and my children”.

The opportunity was a way for him to finally share his side after decades of stories, gossip, rumors and accusations – which he says he avoided responding to in hopes of giving his family and children “some kind of normal life”.

“But silence does not bring peace,” he writes. “The words I never spoke choked me.”