I became free to care for my wife’s sick uncle, but she did nothing to help

Dear Abby: I’ve read your column for 40 years. Now I have a problem. I have been taking care of my wife’s uncle for the past two years. He had a stroke, and I became a certified nursing assistant. I stay home and take care of him 24/7.

My wife is not helping. Recently, her sister decided to go back to college to finish her matriculation and moved in with us. It doesn’t help at all.

I decided to go back to school to get my master’s degree. I work 60 hours a week and am also working on my master’s degree in cybersecurity. I told my wife that if her sister didn’t move by the end of the year, I would move.

We are returning her uncle to the nursing home. I can’t do that anymore. In the last two years, I’ve only had four days off. When I had the flu, the clothes weren’t washed.

Am I a bad person for wanting a career? Am I a bad person because I want a house with just me and my wife? – Exhausted in the East

Dear exhausted: It was so loving and generous of you to sign up for classes to become a CNA so that you can provide the care he needs for your uncle-in-law.

The fact that she did nothing to ease your burden, and then invited her sister to move in without agreeing with you first, was wrong.

Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, and it sounds like you’ve shouldered all the heavy lifting. You are not a bad person for wanting a career and the financial benefits it will bring, and you should not feel guilty because of it.

Dear Abby: Two years ago, a close friend of my husband and I asked us to be the “best couple” at their wedding.

After being postponed for a year due to some family problems, the wedding is coming soon. My husband and I have been married for 25 years. We have a strong and loyal bond.

Last weekend, we were informed that we would not be paired together. None of us are happy about this news. We feel that our friends do not respect our relationship.

I’m confused as to why the “best duo” wasn’t put together. I am so upset that I cried for days. I feel disrespected, betrayed and worthless.

I don’t want us to be paired with other partners. I told our friends that I was not comfortable with my husband walking with another woman, and me walking with another man, but I was ignored.

I don’t even want to go to the wedding anymore. Am I being unreasonable? -Committed but unhappy

Dear committed: Please dry your tears. I may have blown this out of proportion.

Over the last quarter century, you and your husband have been known to be a power couple.

I don’t know why the bride and groom would ask you to walk down the aisle separately. It can be as simple as pairing attendees who are the same height.

Participate in the wedding and support your friends. It’s only for one day, and I assume you’ll be sitting with your husband after the party.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jane Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.