My angry sister wants to choose my son’s name for me

Dear Abby: I am pregnant with my first grandchild on both sides. My husband and I plan to use my husband’s middle name for our son’s first name and my father’s middle name for his middle name. My father is the “third” but has no children, so we thought this would be a way to honor him and represent my side of the family.

My sister is the first person we shared our son’s name with. The next day, she called me to express her displeasure, because she had always planned to use our father’s middle name as her son’s first name. I knew that, but I didn’t think using it as a middle name would be a problem. Additionally, she is younger than me, unmarried, and has no children. She was so upset with me that I had to end the phone call because it evolved into screaming.

During the call, she suggested that I forgo using the name but honor our father by changing the child’s middle name to our father’s first name (which my husband and I don’t think flows well) or use my maiden name for my son’s middle name. Should I change my son’s intended name because my sister wants to be the first to use our father’s middle name for a potential future son? — Choosing a name in the East

Dear Selection: How your sister gets involved in the decision you and your husband decide on your baby’s name is beyond me. Of course you don’t have to change your plans to suit your sister. Stop being a people pleaser, especially when it comes to your offspring. Name your child what you think is best, and don’t look back.

Dear Abby: I am a 40 year old woman and I am dating a wonderful man my age. I bought a house in my 20s, earned several degrees, owned my own business and achieved success. However, I haven’t had any luck with the few people I’ve dated. The guy I’m dating now doesn’t seem to understand some of the necessities of life. He doesn’t shower often, wears the same clothes several days in a row, drinks daily and stays out all night every weekend. When we met, he had no job, no car, and was living with a friend.

It’s been three months, and he’s got a job. He’s practically moved into my house and helps me with finances, but he still won’t shower. (But he does housework.) I’ve had several conversations with him about his hygiene, and he makes promises but doesn’t deliver. My family thinks I’m desperate for love and that I should let this man go. What do you think? — Losing hope in Pennsylvania

Dear Lost Hope: More important than what your family thinks about this is what do you think? Because your gorgeous man’s body stinks, give him an ultimatum. Tell him that as much as you’ve started to care about him, this is a deal breaker, and if he wants to continue living with you, he’s going to have to shower regularly. Then give him a schedule or show him the door. (Whew!)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jane Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Call Dear Abby on www.DearAbby.com Or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.