Scientist Tries to Make a Knife Out of Poop

Working in science often means enjoying the thrill of discovery. Gaining a better understanding of the world around us is among the noblest of professional endeavors. Other times, you may find yourself making a knife out of frozen feces.

In an experiment I mentioned by The wise oneresearchers at Kent State University recently tested the veracity of an old and perhaps apocryphal tale involving an Inuit man whose family wanted him to join them in a new settlement. When he insisted on living a solitary life on the ice, the family took his tools. The man indignantly used his bowel movement to fashion a dog-killing blade for his ribcage, hid it – which he reused as a sled – and disappeared into the countryside. Scientists wanted to know if it was really possible to create a bladed tool from feces.

the He studiespublished in Journal of Archaeological Sciencescontains a spoiler in its title: “Beta version shows knives made from frozen feces don’t work.” Lead author Metin Eren, director of archeology and assistant professor of anthropology at Kent State, was fully committed to the task, eating a high-protein diet typical of Inuit for eight days and preserving his feces. “He did not begin collecting raw materials until the fourth day,” he writes, although it is unclear whether this was due to a need to stay away from the detritus of the contemporary diet or whether he was constipated.

The waste is processed into two blades, one shaped by hand and the other by a knife mold, and then frozen at -20°C. Immediately before use, they were exposed to dry ice at -50°C to ensure hardness. A metal file was used to polish the cutting edge.

Armed with this fecal matter as a weapon, Eren attempted to imitate how the Inuit used such a tool, attempting to cut animal skin with it – in this case, pig hide. Lacking the properties of steel, the waste simply turns into mush when pressed against meat. This remained the case even when Eren asked for the intestinal contents of a colleague eating a traditional Western diet. (Unfortunately not narrated conversation). Only the most elastic subcutaneous fat of the pig could be penetrated before the knife became dull.

“…our results suggest that knives made from frozen human feces are inoperable,” Erin writes, adding, “We gave our knives the best possible chance of success, and they still couldn’t work.”

The value of the fecal-based tool seems nil, but the story may still have resonance: scholars familiar with the tale believe it may have been a metaphorical attempt to describe Inuit resourcefulness.

(free The wise one)