Should I leave my marriage for my best friend?

Dear Abby: In high school, I had a boyfriend who kept telling me he loved me. I never returned the feelings. We remained friends through high school, college, and early adulthood. We married others, had children, and occasionally showed up in each other’s lives.

Four years ago, we started texting a lot, maybe 100 times a day. We met 2 years ago (we now live in different states and met halfway) and started a sexual relationship. For 18 months, we met once a month. The sex is great. The conversations are amazing. Then we stopped. Over the next six months, we both worked on our marriage. None of us are happy.

Two months ago, we started meeting again. I think I’m falling in love with him. I think he loves me, but I also don’t think he would leave his family. We have known each other for 40 years. We know that sex is very good, but we are also good friends. What should I do? – Reconnecting in the Midwest

Dear Reconnect: You and this man are mature adults. Ask him where he sees your love relationship going. Does he plan to continue the status quo or does he plan to leave his family? If he is as good a friend as you feel, he will give you an honest answer, and you will know what to do.

Dear Abby: I am 22 years old, and my boyfriend is 21 years old. We’ve been dating for a few months. At a recent family dinner, his maternal grandfather attacked me. I was helping clear the dinner table and leaning over the table to pick up some dirty dishes when my grandfather pushed his hand up my skirt. Then he glanced at me, and my survival instinct kicked in. She slapped him in the face so hard that he fell off his chair. It created a scene, and my friend’s mother screamed at me.

My friend’s sisters tried to downplay what he did, dismissing Grandpa’s behavior and calling him “just a fraud!” I left the house in a hurry, and the family is now talking about suing me for assault. I’m stunned, and now I’m second guessing myself.

I told my boyfriend we’re over, and he’s upset because we had a nice relationship. I’m no longer sure I can go through with this. Am I wrong here? Should I apologise? -Shaken in New Jersey

Dear shaken: You have no reason to apologize. Your friend’s family should apologize to you. Your friend’s grandfather is not a “bastard.” He is an old man who seems to be losing control of his abilities.

You were not wrong to defend yourself. If there’s any more talk of “being sued for assault” after what Gramps did, tell them you’ll file a police report about his inappropriate behavior, which was far from harmless. His next victim may be a minor

Dear Abby: When it’s hot, I like to take off my shirt in the store parking lots and throw it in the cart while unloading. It gives me some relief from the scorching summer temperatures. This seems relatively harmless to me, but what do you think? – A shirtless man

Dear man:The answer depends on how “attractive” you are. If you’re an orange, furry-chested guy, that’s fine by me as long as you wear sunscreen.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jane Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Call Dear Abby on www.DearAbby.com Or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.