‘This is our mission now forever:’ Father of Annunciation survivor pushes for change

It’s a club no parent wants to be a part of: the parents of a school shooting survivor. Hundreds of parents at Annunciation Catholic Church and School are grappling with this reality.

Monday marks two months since a gunman opened fire, killing two children and wounding 28 others. At that time, parents would come together to grieve, heal, and “get their feet up.”

Ivan Ayala has three children attending Annunciation. His pre-K and kindergarten children were not at the church at the time of the shooting. But so was Ayala’s 7-year-old son. He was hit by the wreck.

Ayala sat down for a conversation with Minnesota Now host Nina Moeni about how his family healed and how he and other parents are mobilizing to advocate for change.

The following has been edited for length and clarity. Listen to the interview at noon Monday on Minnesota Now with Nina Moeny.

How is your son?

About two weeks after the tragedy, they held a mass for families only. We told our son we would all go. The moment he heard that, he immediately broke down and started crying. And there was this fear in his eyes: “I never want to go to Mass again.”

Fortunately, we received word that some Minnesota Wild players will be there. So we say, “Well, you know, after Mass, the Wild players are coming.” This got him through the whole block.

And to this day, he’s still very vigilant about things. If people see, “Who is that? Why are they wearing that?”

Loud noise is a big problem. If his sister hit her stairs upstairs and he heard it, “What’s that?” Just right away. Really alert.

To this day, he wakes up every night in the middle of the night. He goes back to sleep, but he comes into our bedroom every day. This was not the case before.

He still has a splinter behind his ear from what happened. It’s very small, but it’s, you know, a reminder and a symbol of what happened.

You work as a therapist. How do you think about mental health reform and gun control?

In terms of mental health, for me, in school, you have to feel like you belong. And when you are in isolation and sitting at your computer and poisoning your mind with these terrible messages, what do we do to these individuals who are starting to get lost and need support and guidance?

Let’s look at putting more money in so that kids feel like they belong, they feel like they have friends, they feel like they have a place to go, and they’re not isolated.

The other part is making sure that we monitor these easily accessible media. What will we do to hold people accountable in this way?

AR-15 missiles serve no other purpose. It’s something that’s not even for hunting. The purpose of this tool, in essence, is to kill things, kill them quickly, and kill them in large quantities.

And then we go and talk about this in a public forum with politicians, and we get this normalized, as if it’s, “Oh, well, that’s just part of life.” This is strange to me. This is not a healthy way to think about something like this.

I love cars. I would love to drive a Formula 1 car down I-35 or I-94 and hit the gas and hit 200 mph. That would be great. And everyone would say, “You can’t do that. This car is for the race track.”

No one takes your minivan, no one takes your convertible. Nobody takes your Harley. They’re just saying you can’t have a Formula 1 car. It’s more car than anyone needs on the highway. Similar to this weapon, right? Nobody says you can’t go duck hunting, anything like that. There is no reason for this in our society

What kinds of conversations do you have with other Fathers of the Annunciation?

For parents in the community, those hundreds of parents, this is our mission now forever. I would say it’s more about coming up with a plan as a whole. I can’t say much about that, but more of that to come.

We want something that will be effective. We don’t just want talking points. We want to make sure change happens. It does not matter if it happens next year in the next session of government, and it does not matter if it happens in five years, 10 years or 20 years. We will continue to do so until the day I die.

Are you satisfied with the lawmakers’ responses? Do you feel seen and heard at this moment?

I think we’ve certainly seen and heard, but I’m not satisfied. I think something needs to be done. Everyone wants to express their fears to you, wants to shed a tear with you and all of that, and tell you how sad it was. But then, the movement part, where it stops.

And not all of them. Some politicians want to bring about change. Others won’t move from there.

With more time, how can people continue to support you all?

I think it’s about continuing to write and communicate and not put this down as last week’s news.

As much as we wish this would never happen again, we know it will happen again. It’s just a matter of time and this is terrible. Keep making these requests until this stops happening.

Everyone should be responsible. And after that happened, I think, I felt a little guilty. I think that was the problem right away, like I wasn’t doing enough, because it was selfish, like I was doing other things.

And I never thought this would happen to us, especially not in a place like Annunciation. I think that’s what everyone says. The thing is, yeah, it won’t happen to you until it happens. Then I was left thinking that I should have been doing more all along.