Why parents should not attend their children’s sports practices

Two-time Olympic gold medalist Abby Wambach says don’t feel guilty if you can’t make it to your kids’ after-school sports practices.

Leaving your kids with their teammates and coaches — without your supervision — can make them more resilient, conscientious and intrinsically motivated players, says the former US Women’s National Team soccer star. said In an Oct. 21 interview on NBC’s “TODAY Show.” All those qualities can do Help them grow to do Become a successful adultparenting experts say.

“Leave your kids … get in your car, play on your phone, do whatever you want to do, read a book, go for a walk, but don’t go to practice,” said Wambach, a member of the National Soccer Hall of Fame who now has three stepchildren of her own. “This is the time for your children to play, not to look over their shoulders (to see if parents are watching).”

If a child is watching and their parent is looking at them from the sidelines, it can “outsource their motivation” and make them either anxious or over-motivated to impress, Wambach said. 23 September episode Her “Welcome to the Party” podcast.

“Let nothing hold them back from trying something new, taking a risk, making a mistake, trying something, succeeding,” Wambach said, “We want our kids to be self-starters and intrinsically motivated.”

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Intrinsically motivated children are more likely to grow into adults who always strive to do their best, no matter who is watching. Encouraging children to develop a sense of agency can help them become self-motivated and successful adults, neuropsychologist William Stixrud said March 28. Part From the “Raising Good Human” podcast.

“(Your) goal is not to determine that they turn out a certain way or that they always do well, (but) to help them figure out who they want to be, what kind of life they want and how to create the life they want,” Stixrud said.

When you go to your kids’ sports games, don’t give them pointers on how to run faster or kick harder, Wambach recommends on her podcast. Instead, they “value the consequences of winning or losing and place greater emphasis on leadership actions” by showing that they or other players are good teammates.

Ask your child, “What did you see out there today that was a special victory that had nothing to do with the score line?” Wambach said. “Did you see your teammate cheering? Did you pick up the cone without asking for your coach?”

Disclosure: NBC and CNBC are divisions of NBCUniversal.

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